Monday, May 21, 2007

Daddy's Gone

I'm a sucka. One of my many guilty pleasures is watching The Bachelor. Tonight was the season finale and this latest edition (an Officer and a Gentleman) might have been one of the best installments ever! OK- so the guy was a bit of a goof ball and a little cheesy... but I believe that he was genuine- or at least as genuine as one can be on such a show. He picked the right girl and I hope that they last. I thought she had a moon face (no offense) at first, but she eventually won me over. She seems like a real woman and someone who would make a fabulous wife/mother/friend/ yadayadayada.

I started doing some writing exercises today. Nothing major, but I'm reading "Writing Down the Bones" and so far it is really inspiring me to write. Almost every writer I have asked (what books they recommend) have suggested this book.

Today during my writing exercise I wrote about my dad. It was random- but it was a good subject to free write on. I definitely have mixed feelings about not having my dad in my life. I miss talking to him about "adult" matters that we can relate too man-to-man, and I also wish that he was around to help/teach me how to fix and build things.

When I was young I wished him out of my life many times, and now that wish has come true. I always said that the day he and my mom divorced was the happiest moment of my life (up til that point). But I've let go of that anger and the resentment, and part of me can't blame him for being a recluse. God knows I use to fantasize about running away, being alone, and starting anew all the time.

Ultimately, I don't need him in my life- we talk once every year or two and I guess that is enough. I think that my brother needs him more and it's a shame those two don't communicate at all. Hey- it is what it is. I think I'd rather talk to him once a year than talk to him once a day. I'd rather talk to him once a year than never talk to him at all.

I'm tired. Goodnight.

"Religions change; beer and wine remain".
-Hervey Allen

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